Birth Story

The night before Timothy was born I was exhausted. We went to bed around ten anxious and excited for the next day. I woke up at 1 am to use the bathroom and had some trouble getting back to sleep. My mind was spinning about the surgery and the more I tried to sleep the more my anxiety grew. At 2 am I decided to take a shower and by the time I got out of the shower I was bawling, completely overwhelmed by all my emotions. My sweet husband woke up and coaxed me to come lay down. He reminded me of all the wonderful things that were ahead of us for that day and before long we were laughing hysterically over ridiculous things (like naming him Amander or giving him the initials AAH). I never did fall back asleep and got out of bed for good at 3:30 am. We left the house for the hospital at about 5 am.
We checked in and were soon in a room getting a IV and listening to his heartbeat on a monitor. His heartbeat was the most beautiful sound in the world and I could have easily fallen asleep to that sound every night. I was prepped and ready to go to the OR by 7:10 but still had to wait another half hour before they wheeled me back. It was a busy morning for labor and delivery and so everything took longer than planned. We finally got to the OR and I said goodbye to Kirk who stayed outside the the doora until they were ready to open me up. I walked into the freezing cold room and stood there until they were ready to put in my spinal block. I sat up on the table and it took three tries but they finally got my spinal block in. The nurses and doctors were excited for us to welcome our first boy and they promised to break it to Kirk slowly if there wasn't any "outside plumbing." I laid back on the table and started to feel tingly everywhere. Soon my body was being prepped from every possible angle as I laid there not being able to feel anything. When everything from the drapes and doctors were in place they let Kirk come in, about 30 minutes after I walked into the room.
I was so relieved to see him. I had a lot of anxiety about this particular c-section and was so ready to get it over with. It seemed to take the doctor forever to get to the baby. I kept asking Kirk the most random questions from birthdays to New York to keep my mind distracted from what was going on down south. Finally, after an eternity, the doctor said he had reached the baby. Then it was "oh its a big baby" "he's tall like daddy" "wow that is a lot of amniotic fluid" "8 pounds 15 ounces 21 1/4 inches long." It was a minute before he cried (just like our Kirsten, Audrey came out screaming). He would cry for a minute then be calm. Kirk went over to him and stroked his hand to keep him calm and the nurse said "it's good for him to cry." I laid there sooo anxious to see my baby and with each of his cries my heart longed to hold and comfort him. I just knew he wanted his mom. I kept trying to move the blue curtain so I could see over to where my baby was, the antheologist told me my efforts were in vain I wasn't going to be able to see anything, but it made me feel better to try. Soon nausea got the best of me and I got sick. I have always imagined that throwing up during a c-section, laying on a table unable to move would be one of the worst feelings ever and I can now say it really was awful. It was then that they decided to show me Timothy but I couldn't really see him because I was throwing up and everything in that moment was just not what I had hoped for. They wanted to take him back to our room but I hadn't even touched him yet. It was a hard mommy moment for me and I couldn't get out of the OR fast enough after that. Kirk was able to take Timothy back to our room and introduce him to his Grandmas. He was one proud daddy. I was wheeled in about 15 minutes later. I immediately got to do skin to skin with Timothy and he latched on great and nursed for an entire hour. The c-section was a little rough but he was healthy, I had no complications and so nothing else really matters.
He is absolutely perfect. Holding him in my arms for the first time was a moment full of so much love. Kirk was beaming with pride for his new son and life just felt so full of joy. It was special to have both of our moms there with us. They were both grinning full of love for Kirk and I and our sweet family. It was a beautiful moment in our lives that we will always treasure. Timothy Monson Howcroft joined our family at 8:14 am on December 6, 2012.

Last belly picture, I was predicting a big boy!

His "I'm about to have a son" stance

where Kirk hung out while I was being prepped

He was covered in the white vernix stuff, good thing too cause hes extra soft

love his "give me my mom or else" face and fist

looks like his daddy

big healthy boy

such happy faces

my mom and me

my handsome boy, love those chubby cheeks

life just got a million times better